Quiet Quitting, Great Resigning, Life Designing: A Guide To Audacious Dreaming
“Quiet quitting” is dominating the headlines lately, not unlike its trendy predecessors: the Big Quit, the Great Attrition, and of course: the Great Resignation. As one of 47 million people who resigned in 2021 (it was indeed “great”), it’s been fascinating to not only introspectively process my motivations but also to overlay my personal experience atop the broader, media-dominated reactions to the ongoing workforce transformation.
A recent quitter’s inner dialogue: Is it true what they say? Am I lazy? Brave? Burnt out? Principled? Pessimistic? Jaded? Short-sighted? Long-sighted?
Most people, myself included, are some of these things, some of the time. The labels often assigned to those who have resigned (or “quietly quit”, AKA decided to work according to what they are compensated for) aren’t particularly interesting or telling of why people are taking these steps, and make it harder to self-evaluate what one truly needs or wants in the workplace. Judgment-laden analyses create noise that actively makes it difficult for both employers and members of the workforce to reflect honestly on their roles, values and options.
There is indeed value in studying the latest trends in workplace engagement and retention, but the intergenerational snark that accompanies the conversation makes it harder to understand why it’s happening and what people should do and feel about it. There have been a number of studies conducted over the past two years trying to get to the bottom of the question: why are people quitting?
Toxic work culture was identified as the top factor, encompassing failures around DEI, feelings of disrespect (MIT Sloan).
Low pay, followed by lack of advancement opportunity and feelings of disrespect (Pew Research).
Lack of career development, inadequate compensation, and uncaring & uninspiring leaders (McKinsey).
Lack of clarity around expectations, inadequate materials and equipment, and lack of opportunity for employees to do what they do best every day are the top three reasons for low employee engagement (Gallup).
As all of these studies point out, it’s a grim picture for employers: these problems require long-term, structural and personnel changes - not ideal for the time sensitivity of employee retention. What about employees? What are their solutions to these issues, and when should “quiet quitting” or resignation be considered? What’s next for those who do quit? What about students entering the workforce and re-entrants to the workforce who want to work in accordance with their values… but also just need a job? How does one actually go about taking ownership of their career when things like “toxic work culture” or “uncaring and uninspiring leaders” feel so out of one’s control?
Millions of people are unsatisfied at work, all for different reasons but with some common threads. Work is also just one aspect of what fulfills a person’s needs and wants. While employers will be engaging in a long process of change, people are looking to more immediately take control over their professional lives. Quiet quitting and resignation could in itself be a solution, but it is more likely the start of a longer journey of identifying, defining and pursuing particular values. In many cases, it may not be the right move at all - perhaps change should be pursued within existing organizations. Maybe the key to your discontent lies outside of the workplace altogether.
It’s only possible to hone in on the right decision for you if you’ve put some thought into the specifics of your values and if/where your job is misaligned. I’ll walk through an example value exercise and heuristic problem solving approach to demonstrate how you can organize loose thoughts of dissatisfaction and transform them into actionable next steps.
My decision to resign and to ultimately start my own venture can be traced back to a set of values I decided to define for myself more concretely than ever before. How do you do this? There are plenty of tools you can consult, classes you can take, career coaches you can pay - these can all be very useful, but aren’t necessarily accessible to all and aren’t necessary to meaningfully self-reflect.
Jot down what you care about.
The first simple step is to write down things that you care about. That’s it. Things you care about in your life, job, for others, for the world (snapshot of a sample list below). Put them down in any order, and do not judge what you put down, the order in which you put them, or how short/long your list is. This should be an honest reflection of what matters to you right now, and this list will fluctuate over time. This exercise loses utility as soon as you start thinking about what you should care about.
If you are new to reflecting on your thoughts and motivations in this way, this might be difficult at first. Feel free to borrow from this list, and below are some additional factors that people might consider depending on their stage of life, available resources, support systems, etc.
2. Zoom in on what matters most.
For each value that you identified, go through and give yourself a status update. Is this value receiving all the energy you want it to give it? Is it being enacted, recognized, practiced in your day to day (i.e. are you sufficiently “fulfilled” on this front)? Or do you feel a sense of emptiness or craving for more around this value (i.e. “unfulfilled”)? Obviously, this binary is a simplification. Remember, that’s the goal right now.
Next, ask yourself how critical it is that you enact this value now. Some of these will be lifelong goals, while others have a time constraint or just varying levels of urgency for you as an individual. Similar to before, avoid judging how you prioritize your inputs!
Identify the values that are marked both “unfulfilled” and “high priority” (in pink below). Sense check these: does this distill what you care about most? Are these the areas you want to prioritize in your next chapter?
This list is your value compass. In your coming weeks, months and years of work and life, you can constantly revisit your highest priority values to ensure you’re moving in a direction that satisfies what is currently missing and important to you. Whether you’re going into a performance review, the first day of graduate school or a travel break after quitting, remember these compass values and hold them firmly in your logic and emotions. We can only manage so many priorities at once, so it’s handy to identify, name and centralize a few of them across different parts of your life.
3. Zoom out to expand your value compass. (Optional)
While we have identified the most pressing values on your list, you might still have a lot of values left that feel too important to exclude. Let’s make sure this list captures what we care about and make sure we don’t lose something important. This step is suggested if you have a longer list of values. Go through your list and highlight any remaining values that you have marked as high priority (in yellow below). You can skip this step if you feel that your shorter list from the last step encompasses everything you want it to.
4. Let your value compass drive a solution brainstorm.
We now have a shortlist of values that you will want to centralize in this brainstorm. “Solution” in this case refers to all the ways that you can enact that value in your day-to-day. This could mean things you currently do or could do; small goals or large goals. Is physical fitness one of your top priorities? Biking to work regularly can be one of your solutions. Joining an extracurricular running club could be another.
For each value, challenge yourself deeper. Ask yourself sub-questions that help you get to the core of what you care about; reframing your values in different ways can help you generate more and more solutions, including ones that might not seem as obvious.
VALUE COMPASS: DIGGING DEEPER, EXPLORING SOLUTIONS
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What does security mean to me? How much money will make me feel secure?
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What does an equitable work environment look like? What could my role be in advancing gender and racial equity in different parts of my life?
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What aspect of leadership do I like? How many people would I like to manage? What skill gaps can I fill to become a more effective leader?
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Is this on a day-to-day scale? What if I’m working toward a larger goal that I “like”? Does “like” mean enjoyment, or something else?
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When do I feel most creative? Am I more creative in solo or group environments?
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Current job - stay, negotiate raise
New job - seek higher salary
Support from family (e.g. spousal support)
Investments
More robust budgeting
Less spending, selling xyz items, etc.
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Current job (participate in internal initiatives that advance DEI)
New job (find a company/org that centralizes gender and racial equity)
Therapy (to process thoughts, develop coping mechanisms)
Volunteer with aligned organization
Read/research/watch relevant content that enhances my knowledge and awareness
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Current job (can request and/or grow into more leadership opportunities)
Find a new job where I can lead a team
Volunteering or joining a board
Participating in sports, local political organizations or other social activities with leadership opportunities
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Current job - seek role adjustments or new projects where I can practice xyz skill
Seek a new job where the day-to-day ismore of something I enjoy doing (e.g. graphic design, working with people, etc.)
Explore extracurricular activities that bring more joy to my daily routine
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Current job: seek creative projects internally to shadow or get involved with
Take a course that advances creative thinking (business class, writing class, etc.)
Starting or joining a side project that allows me to get into creative flow states more frequently
5. Find common denominators in your solutions and assess their feasibility based on your personal advantages & constraints.
It is not frivolous to evaluate your options, dreams, and available resources in pursuit of happiness and security. Many people will find an exercise like this self-indulgent or idealistic. However, thinking about all the options on the table - including the less feasible ones - helps you better understand your drivers and ultimately brings you to a more sustainable solution that encompasses a deeper assessment of what you want and like (not only need).
Pluck out common themes and actions from your solution brainstorm, and do a quick assessment of feasibility. Where do you have sufficient access, resources, knowledge? Where do you face barriers? At a surface level, which do you see yourself doing and what are some bridging steps you would need to take to make it happen? Some fictional scenarios are continued below.
POTENTIAL SOLUTIONS
(summarized)
Stay at current job and create a rough plan for negotiating pay, support internal DEI initiatives, lead a team of x number of people, etc.
Feasible. I have documented positive feedback from my colleagues, the company is growing, there is an established pathway for promotions etc. I can propose a workshop on xyz topic so people will come to me to collaborate on topics I enjoy. Internal DEI team needs help with xyz project, I can assist.
key barrier: employer likes leaders that have formal leadership education… take an online class?
Find a new job where DEI is prioritized, where pay increases, I can lead a team, etc.
Not currently feasible. Not enough work experience to secure something new, roles difficult to find right now due to market conditions, etc.
key barrier: I need a strong recommendation letter. Prioritize relationship with manager to secure this.
Volunteer at organizations where I can help advance a cause I feel strongly about, develop leadership skills, build a network in the nonprofit management space, try something new, etc.
Feasible. I have connections to a charity actively looking for volunteers, and I feel I have knowledge/skills that will add value to them.
key barrier: I need more support at work/home to have enough time for volunteering. Talk to them about how tasks can be re-shuffled to free up some time.
6. Confirm and plan your specific next steps.
Based on the exercise above, this fictional person can channel their discontent at work into 1) adjusting their existing role and workplace to align with their leadership ambitions and 2) finding volunteer opportunities that allow them to improve their skills, network and sense of fulfillment.
To make this happen, they can look for a leadership class that increases their negotiating abilities at their current job. They also have to broach conversations with their manager and/or family members around schedule adjustments that allow more time for volunteering at an organization that satisfies their values.
A longer term goal can be to build a better relationship with their manager to set themselves up for a stronger recommendation or job search, and to pave the path for future discussions around how they can realize more of their values within the organization.
We started with a general sense of unhappiness at work and have narrowed in on a specific set of targeted next steps. What you put into this exercise dictates what you get out of it, and you can imagine a myriad of reasons why resigning might make sense: you found a great new gig, you’re starting something on your own, or you’re taking a break from work entirely. Quiet quitting could make sense if you are looking to maximize time, enjoyment and energy spent in other facets of your life outside of work. Staying in your role but approaching it with a goal-oriented mindset can help you get more out of your experience - especially if you are facing resource constraints or barriers with the other potential routes.
This is an exercise in both pragmatism and dreaming. To think of one and not the other sets people up for unsatisfying, unsustainable careers on one extreme end, and frustrating, unachievable pursuits on the other. The ongoing workplace transformation signals the need for more regular and wider assessments of ourselves.
Do some sort of self-reflective exercise like this on a regular basis to ensure you are in sync with your financial, intellectual and emotional needs. Give yourself permission to not only dream, but dream widely. The ambitions you set might not be realized in the next week, year, decade, or at all depending on your circumstances, luck and access to resources. The most precious, though, is within: energy is limited, and never wasted in the pursuit of an audacious dream.